Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, quiverfull parents of TLC's "19 and Counting" lost their 20th child. A 19-week ultrasound detected no heartbeat and the Duggars have opted to let the miscarriage occur naturally, says People magazine. Here are stillborn-infant and miscarriage information for parents.
Parent miscarriage guilt
Medicine Net says 60 percent to 70 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most occur before 13 weeks and many before the mother knows she has conceived. Despite the commonness of miscarriage, it is one of the most guilt-producing events in parenting, ABC News Medical Unit reports. Parents tend to blame themselves for neonatal loss, though few miscarriages are caused by something either parent was responsible for. The main reasons for miscarriage: caused by chromosomal abnormalities, collagen vascular disease, diabetes, hormone problems, infections and uterine abnormalities. Smoking, alcohol and drug use (including non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) are also linked. Women with a past history of miscarriages are more prone to further problems. Parents may fault themselves for things like sexual intercourse, exercise and work; Medicine Net says that in a healthy pregnancy, those things do not cause miscarriage.
Parent choices about miscarriage
After miscarriage, the mother's body may not immediately expel the fetus. Net Doctor says parents have three options at this point. They may decide to wait for the baby to be born naturally, as the Duggars are doing. However, in a miscarriage, the mother's body doesn't produce pregnancy hormones needed for birth. Doctors may give labor-inducing stimulants. Kids Health says doctors may also recommend evacuating the fetus more quickly, especially if the baby has been dead for some time. They may perform a D&C (dilation and curettage) or scraping of the uterine wall. A D&E (dilation and extraction) uses a suction to remove the fetal matter.
Parent choices about baby's remains
After miscarriage, parents may have to decide what to do with the fetal remains. Parent choices about dealing with the body, may depends upon how their state's abortion laws are written, Pregnancy Loss says. Before the age of viability, about 20-24 weeks, the fetus's body may be deemed biological waste and treated as any other surgically-removed body part. Parents may not be given fetal remains, depending upon where they live. After the age of viability, the fetus is considered a person. The remains must be dealt with a human body would be: cremation or burial. However, in some states, if the fetus was surgically removed, with D&E or D&C, the remains may still not be surrendered to the parents. Before age of viability, states may offer three options: disposal, donation to science and burial/cremation (with some kind of funeral). The Duggar have chosen this option.
Grief support for parents
GriefSpeaks says parents need to acknowledge their loss and connect with others. The website lists several major neonatal loss support groups, like AMEND (Aiding Mothers and Fathers Experiencing Neonatal Death).
Marilisa Kinney Sachteleben writes about parenting from 23 years raising four children and 25 years teaching K-8, special needs, adult education and homeschool.
